March 10th, 2010
Brain overflow
1. Graham calls me mean somewhere between 2600 and 4000 times per day. Nicolaus doesn’t come right out and SAY that I’m mean but will say things like “Today everything you’re doing is completely designed to make me feel like I can never be good enough.”
Don’t worry. This was because I asked him to:
Three minor course corrections in fifteen minutes was interpreted as overly critical and harsh parenting. Which is mean! YOU’RE MEAN.
Sometimes when they call me mean I say, “That’s right. I’m the meeeean machine!” Then I mow over them like I’m a giant tractor. Which would make me an awesome parent if it broke the stormy mood and made them laugh and then we could all smile and hug and have ice cream with happy guitar music playing in the background, and then they could narrate over the scene with a little monologue about how great their childhood was. But no, the mean machine only pisses them off, which makes me think it’s even funnier, which makes me a jerk.
2. Why did Eddie Vetter sing about the company that makes baby swings and carseats?
3. Turning 36 didn’t make me feel old but! Overhearing adults talking about their favorite science fiction TV moment from their childhood, realizing it was from a show I watched in college oh oh ohhh now my head hurts. Must be some kind of temporal distortion anomaly. Or I’m just old.
4. Someday we want to move but we don’t know where to go. It’s still in the hypothetical stage, but it’s neat to think about where we’d go. The ideal place to live:
Somewhat rural
Few chain stores
Minimal traffic
No major sports arena
No mall
Walkable
A used bookstore
Trees
A nice park or two
Some kind of farmer’s market
Drive to water: lake, river, ocean… Kevin needs to be near water
Mild weather
A general vibe that is: open minded, relaxed, anti-racism, not hyperfocused on religion, sports, and/or meth.
It doesn’t have to be a hippie town. Just friendly and not grossly materialistic and/or racist, you know? We’d stay in this general area except that small towns outside of Atlanta have ILLS OUT painted everywhere, and it’s not weird to meet people with confederate flags displayed somewhere on their car or body. We once went into a gas station and the very friendly clerk had a huge illustrative tattoo on his arm. It was a picture of a black man being lynched, and then just in case the intent of the lynching tattoo was too vague there was a person on his forearm who was shooting at the black man. The bullets were drawn like little dashed lines going to the cartoon victim.
We are looking for a small town with whatever is the opposite of that.
But! But but but, one big problem is that I am an insufferable crybaby about winter. Isn’t there something in between the mild-weathered bible belt and the insane holy jeez it’s cold north?
5. This is where Kevin points out that his company has a location in Hawaii.
6. This week we are still working on medieval europe, right now focused on how Christianity shaped everything during that time. Nicolaus instantly drew a comparison between the Christian God and Zeus, and Jesus and Perseus. I like Nicolaus.
7. I also like Graham, even though he is being an unbelievable punk lately. It’s hard to get him to focus and participate in what we’re doing. I know it’s the age. He concentrates fine on his own important four year old work: Spinning in the time machine, playing with sand and rocks, drawing funny pictures, eating oatmeal and so forth. But sitting and listening to me finish a whole sentence is almost impossible for him.
I don’t mind being interrupted if the person is on topic. But this is total non sequitur interrupting for the sake of interrupting.
“So that’s where the Romans got the idea to…”
“Mama? Mama? MAAAMAAAAA.”
“Yes?”
“I have a question.”
“Is it about what we’re talking about right now?”
“Yes!”
“Oh! Cool. Okay, what is it?”
“I mean no! My question is, my question? Is?”
“Yeah?”
“Which ones of the Beatles died and got killed and which ones of them survived?”
You aren’t supposed to reward stuff like that with an answer, but I can’t help it. It’s too good of a question.
At dinner the other night we were chatting about movies when Graham suddenly asked me how exactly did Romans make their limestone cannon balls?
Kevin says he probably wanted to know so he could make some to use against us all. But it was a neat question! What could I do? I tried to look it up, right there using my phone at the dinner table which is a terrible example no computers at the table oh my god worst mother ever.
8. Do you ever go to sleep and dream that you are watching a movie and wake up thinking I should write that movie! That would be a good movie! But then by the time you brush your teeth you realize that the movie in your dream made almost no sense at all?
9. I really want to do a school post. It’s been months since I posted an update, but we are trucking along through all of human history. History is crazy! Did you know that? I am probably driving Kevin nuts with my constant hey! Did you know? trivia that I learned that day.
10. Rearranged the living room again, and it has made everyone happier. I think sometimes we just need a different perspective on everything.
11. Goodness my body wants me to go to bed now. But I can’t. The dog has something gross stuck on his bottom. I couldn’t deal earlier so he’s chilling in his crate while I put off cleaning that for him. I bet that’s why this post is so long. Anything else you’d like to discuss? Really it’s no problem.


