French fries are the worst. The taste isn’t so bad and it doesn’t hurt, but the texture is uniquely disturbing — sort of like sticky, chopped-up cardboard that clumps together and gets caught in your throat. You have to cough really hard to get them all the way up and then because there are still so many solid pieces, they splash potato-smelling water back up onto your face.
Bean burritos are a close second, simply because the taste is shocking. It’s enough to make you gag. Luckily by then you’re already in the right mode for that, all settled into a comfortable position over the toilet. The last time, I actually started crying, so upsetting was the taste. No more refried beans for me.
Pure stomach acid is probably third because it tastes pretty bad, and it burns.
The best is fruit. Canned pears are soft and mild tasting, and applesauce isn’t bad either. Apple juice is easy – it actually tastes good coming up — but it isn’t worth the cold, sloggy, full feeling that precedes the blessed event. I’m sad to say I’ve sworn off apple juice because I’m stupid. Instead of sipping a little at a time, I can’t help but gulp down a whole glass, even though I know it’s going to slosh around and make me sick.
In the last five weeks, I’ve lost three pounds. I’ve also gained considerable respect for bulimics. They’re really onto something as far as weight loss, and I’m sure they have to keep a much more detailed mental catalog of foods to avoid, since they don’t have nausea to make them lose their appetite, and for most of them this is more of a long-term lifestyle choice, rather than a temporary biological thing.
Dear god, please let it be temporary.