I found a job posting for a company that I’ve wanted to work for since 1998. Before we left Texas I wasn’t qualified or good enough at what I do to even land an interview, so ah well. Well we’re back in Dallas now and I sometimes search through Monster just because – well mainly boredom I guess – and there it is, the perfect job, and I realize: Holy crap, now I’m completely qualified for that position.
I thought about sending them my resume. I imagined myself in the interview. I imagined myself working on a team again, solving problems on whiteboards and going to lunch with my team members and laughing at all the stupid people in sales or marketing. I imagined what a relief it might be to suddenly have a steady, possibly excellent income.
Then I remembered about getting ready – drying my hair, finding panty hose and putting on makeup. And driving an hour each way. And being gone all day, and coming home after a long, exhausting day to Nicolaus. Nicolaus who is the whole point of everything now. Nicolaus who brings me books and climbs in my lap so we can read about ladybugs.
</career ambition>


