November 16th, 2006
The kind of insightful post you’ve come to expect from me right before bed
I really feel that signing up for Netflix should make it so I don’t get Netflix popups anymore. YOU CONVINCED ME. Stop telling me how great it is! It’s like my father-in-law talking to me, with his many detailed persuasive arguments that would be so much more persuasive if I didn’t already agree with him. He tells me “The way to do that would be… (exactly whatever I’m already doing).” And then argues with me that I should do it.
I nod politely and say things like, “Yep.” and “Yep!” and “Yeah…” while the whole time in my head I’m jumping up and down flapping my arms because I Already! AGREEEEEE OMFG DUDE stop telling me words.
And then I kill him.
So watch your ass, Netflix.
But also, thank you Netflix for your speedy delivery of the IMAX dolphin movie, a mediocre documentary which features narration by Pierce Brosnon and the many dolphin-related recordings of Sting, and interviews with the world’s most reknowned dolphin dorks. Nicolaus loved it and? Did you know? That that movie was going to turn him into a dolphin?
I have to say I sort of thought it might. But we pretended to be surprised by his transformation, and he spent the evening clicking and squeaking at us all.
Which as an aside, I’m not sure that we as a species should be working so hard to figure out dolphin language. I mean, we can barely hold this global society together as it is without having to consult the motherfucking dolphins on all major world decisions. Because obviously the first thing the dolphins would say to us is “We want a UN seat.”
And the second thing they would say is, “Hey, that tuna net thing? WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?”
And the third thing would be, “Which by the way, what did you do with all that tuna. Because we feel that we should receive at least a portion… you know… it’s only fair… seeing as like 2/3 of us died and all…”
And the fourth thing would be, “But don’t give any to those beluga whale guys. They’re a bunch of creepy-looking dolphin-wannabe blowholes whose extinction frankly can’t come soon enough.”
And the fifth thing would be, “Wooooo! Look at my cool jumping spin!!”
And the sixth thing would be, “WOOOOOOOOO!! DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT?”
And the seventh thing would be, “But seriously. UN seat.”
November 17th, 2006 at 7:08 am
Could we really do any worse with a UN seat going to a dolphin? I mean, really?
Your father-in-law reminds me of my ex-husband. Well, my ex was usually arguing politics, even if you agreed with him. Yes, people generally find him irritating. :)
You’ll have to let us know how long Nicolaus is a dolphin.
November 17th, 2006 at 7:55 am
If you’re into dolphins, I would seriously NOT recommend the dolphin show at the Baltimore Aquarium. They only did like, two big jumps. All the rest was watching the video monitors about saving the planet or something. And really, the only reason to go to a dolphin show with a 2 and 3 year old, is the big jumps.
So the dolphins WOULDN’T say “so long and thanks for all the fish”…hmmmm….
November 17th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
I was trying, oh so hard, to not say “so long and thanks for all the fish”. ;-)
November 17th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
Ha ha you guys… Kevin’s been singing so long and thanks for all the fish since the second I hit post.
November 17th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
Oh, thanks, you guys. Now that song will be stuck in my head ALL NIGHT.
November 18th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
I heart you! And this is a great post. And you have done some super posts in the last week and a half. And…where are the pictures of the boooooyyyyyyyssss because my name is Gillian and I am addicted to electric-boogaloo-babys like in the middle of Christmas cards which you posted a few days ago. The thing with addiction is it is always the picture I haven’t seen yet that I really need, not the one I saw yesterday.
November 19th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
I always feel like after I do my NPR pledge I should somehow get access to some special NPR station where I don’t have to hear the rest of the pledge drive begging.
November 20th, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Elizabeth, they don’t give you the secret donator station info? Hmmm you must not be donating very much! :-P