electric boogaloo

Everyone’s asleep except me. It would be the perfect time to sneak off and go shower and color my hair but if I do, the baby will wake up and Mouse will have a seizure and Kevin will have a baby diaper-related emergency (like the baby pooping in his diaper, or peeing in his diaper, or OH GOD WHERE ARE THE WIPES, or not pooping or peeing but taking off his pants and his diaper because wooooo! look at me I’m a baby and I have a weiner!, or not taking off his diaper but looking slightly uncomfortable for a second) and Nicolaus will wake up and need in the bathroom because poisonous carnivores are chasing him and you know how that is.

So I’m in bed, trying to type quietly so as not to disturb anyone. Not that I don’t adore them all - I do, so much that Dr.Phil would probably shake his head and laugh at me for being so silly - but I also adore a few quiet minutes alone with the morning light seeping through the dark unopened curtains. Well and the glow of the computer monitor obviously.

Besides, today is going to suck once it starts. We’re driving to Georgia this weekend. It’s fourteen hours away when you have no kids and no bad weather or anything. With two small children and a weather forecast like this, we should arrive sometime on Wednesday of not this week but the next.

A few quick notes before we leave…
* Nicolaus freaked out last night because I threw away some shrimp that were freezer burned. “But those are sea creatures and it’s like they died - they were killed - just so you could throw them in the trash?”

Five minutes of lecturing me later, he declared himself a vegetarian. We’ll see how long it lasts but since meat is food, which he doesn’t eat, I’m guessing he can do it.

* Kevin and Graham are awake now and are playing that game where the father steals the baby’s nose. Graham thinks it’s funny. I’m not comparing our two kids because that’s wrong and bad, but I used to have a friend who had this kid who used to freak his total baby shit if you stole his nose.

* I am not mature for how much I got out of Nicolaus teaching Graham how to score the other day. As in how to use a tool to dig a line into a piece of paper for folding… where you almost cut it but not quite. “Graham okay. I’m your big brother so I have to teach you. Scoring is very HARD to do. It’s really hard to score Graham.”

And so forth with the scoring and the taching while I giggled a Beavis giggle because huhhhh he said score.

* There was more but I can’t think with this baby clonking me in the head with a flashlight. Ow. Ow. OW. But oh my god, he’s so cute that it’s stupid. OW. It’s not funny!

Shit. Ow. Okay, I’m done.

See you all in Georgia.