April 22nd, 2008
life is what happens while you’re busy making lesson plans
I think a lot about homeschooling. At first we sort of waved it away as my mid-30s angst left over from my suburbanite trauma of being bored at school a lot when I was a kid. But I’ve toured the school Nicolaus would go to and really, it’s fine. I don’t worry that he will be treated with anything but wonderful teacherness.
But it’s still there, this idea that I want to be his teacher. That and the deep feeling that full-day kindergarten is just crazy. A full day? Seven hours?? I can’t bring myself to go to work that many hours a week — heck, I can’t do anything for seven hours straight except maybe watch Heroes. So how can I ask Nicolaus to do the same? Especially since oh my god, Heroes is totally inappropriate for a five year old.
So we’ve been talking about it. Kevin is skeptical, mainly because he’s noticed that if we sit down and try to overtly teach this kid anything he gets up and walks away. A minor obstacle I say, easily overcome with a little duct tape. His other concern is bigger and harder to articulate… it’s that a lot of the time, for all the awesome hours we spend together exploring his many exciting interests in depth and listening to music and stories and finding out about the world… about a third of the time, Nicolaus seems like a really unhappy person. It makes us wonder what we are not giving him that he needs. Is it something that school would be able to give him? I suspect not, Kevin wonders if. We both overthink. That’s how we roll at the house of Ard.
And I see his point. And really, the public school option seems absolutely fine. But still the homeschooling idea is there and doesn’t go away. It’s like a big noisy fly buzzing around me. And Kevin’s all, “Ahhh a fly! Kill it! Or go shower or something so flies will stop buzzing around you.”
And I’m like well maybe I don’t want to kill it. It might be fun.
So Kevin is open to giving the Ard School of Arts and Sciences a fair shot before public Kindergarten starts in the fall. We already registered Nicolaus for public school, and even if we are doing great at home, we might send him to school for a few weeks to make sure we aren’t being selfish assholes for keeping him away from the magical kindergartenwonderland.
As we’ve been processing all of this, I swear I’ve been nothing but cheerful and excited about the very cool exciting kindergarten coming soon yay! We took Nicolaus for a tour of the! Very cool! And wonderful! School!
But still, he asked me the other day if he could just do kindergarten from home. He pointed out that I am allowed to work from home sometimes. So why can’t he?
Nicolaus has always been sort of a homebody. Still, I was surprised that he wasn’t excited about going to school, because he likes his various classes and lately he really enjoys meeting other kids. When I asked him why he would prefer to do school at home he said, “I just don’t want to go where there are like swarms of other kids. Five or six kids would be okay. Best would be ZERO. Hey, can you COUNT to zero? Hahaha. But. So I don’t want to go to that school because the kindergarten classes all had swarms of like millions of children and if I? Spend too much time around a whole bunch of other kids? Eventually? I will die.”
Dang. He’ll DIE? That deserves some consideration, right? Even though he probably just means that school looks potentially stressful and really, it probably would be fine once he got used to it. Same goes for me.
So we’re giving homeschooling a try starting — well, now. I am nerdishly, freakishly excited. What’s the worst that happens, right? RIGHT?
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Oh my gosh he kinda reminds me of my sad squishy loner image conscious non-interacting kid. He was just different…I don’t know. We used to go to the park and there’d be an audible sigh from the backseat when there’d be any other kids there. If it was crowded, we’d have to just go home or else he’d be Mr. Lurky Lurk the whole time and who wants to be the playground parent of HIM?! He was always sure he didn’t fit in with other kids, but he showed tremendous confidence and happiness with kids he knew, like his cousins.
I’m not organized or smart enough to homeschool, so he went to public schools here but didn’t have to face 7 hour days until first grade, this year. I don’t know why he came out of it, but he did. He has a select group of friends now, but he loves a crowd and can jump right in and it freaks me out to see that. In a good way. I have my theories, but who knows. Whatever you decide to do, and where, good luck! There’s so much out there for homeschooling now – I’m excited for you. This was long. Sorry.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Gaaah. Seven hours? Seriously? Most of my schooling was only 6 hours or so (including lunch) and kindergarten was half day stuff.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
You know, my brother was (is) similar to how you described Nicolaus. He was quite, incredibly intelligent (brilliant, really), creative/artistic, shy, prone to random episodes of despondency and OMG should not have been in private school in the 70s/80s. They just didn’t know what to with an artistic BOY, and he really suffered for it for a while. He just didn’t fit in. I think (hope!) schools are more open minded these days, especially since my son is also showing signs of “you’re-so-smart-you’re-weird-itis.” I’ve been debating homeschooling, so I hope you post updates.
p.s. My brother? Yeah, he’s a video game producer. All those games on your cell phone? He was in charge of the team who designed/made/installed them. So, yeah, he turned out ok, freakish artsy tendencies aside. ;-)
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I was homeschooled all growing up and it totally opened up all kinds of learning opportunities for me and my siblings and I loved it. We’re probably going to homeschool our kids, though we’re not against other ideas. But my experience was so positive and I actually got to interact with MORE people of all ages in more life-like scenarios than I would have in school because of all the activities we did. A lot of kids learn better in a home environment. But it has to be about what works for YOUR family.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
This sounds really exciting. I don’t have kids so I have no practical input on this one. I’m waiting for the updates.
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:37 pm
We’re currently planning on home-schooling. I think you’ve mentioned John Holt and unschooling before. We’ve bought into that whole thing, so we’re not so interested in the “sit down and try to overtly teach” approach. We’ll just go in whichever direction the kids want to go in and leave it at that. Or that’s what I think we’ll do now. My oldest is not quite 3 yet, so I’ve got a lot of time to find out how misguided that approach is LOL. Nonetheless, that’s the plan for now.
Good luck! I really hope/think it’ll work out for you.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Oh my god! 7 hours for kindergarten?? It does seem like a bit much.
Here, kids go 4 days a week for half days. 3 days of 9-12.30 and 1 day of 12.30-3.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
7 HOURS for kindergarten! No wonder he thinks he’ll die. lol and maybe not so much. Thanks a long time to be around a group of rowdy people of a kid as creative and intuitive as Nicolaus.
7 HOURS???
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I think Nicolaus will be fine, no matter what you decide to do for school. If one choice doesn’t work, you’ll just go on to another choice. You are amazing parents, and you’ll always make sure your kids’ needs are met. But. . . I have to put in a vote for homeschooling. I’ve always homeschooled my kids, on the unschooling end of the scale, and it’s worked great for us. We did join a part-time school program 6 years ago when the kids were 7, 11, 14, and 16 because I started working full-time, and that’s worked out well too. The classes they attend often spark an interest that’s carried over to home, and one way or another they’ve gotten a comprehensive education.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I’ve got to ask b/c I’ve been thinking about the same thing. Where do you even start??
I think I’m okay with the kindergarden (definitely not 7 hours!) – but when 5th grade comes…I think I’m going to yank them. The stories…ugh.
Please – any ideas would be greatly appreciated..
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:27 am
How very exciting. All of it, I mean. Whether home school or public school this is a big milestone. I envy work at home moms and those who can home school. You’ve always been good about taking your boys out for social interaction so I’m sure whichever method you end up sticking with will be good for them both. And maybe he can still have a couple outside classes in addition to the home schooling; a combination of the two so both you and your husband are happy. And Nicolaus of course!
April 23rd, 2008 at 8:53 am
Thank you everyone for your comments and thoughts on this… I’m going to update soon with my rough plan for the next few months. Woo!
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:45 am
I totally want to homeschool my son and future kids (my son is only 10 months right now)! I’ve been reading John Holt’s Teach Your Own. Very interesting. Can’t wait to read more here about what you try.
Have you looked into homeschooling groups in your area?
In mine there is a Homeschooling group with 200+ families who plan activities together and offer support.
April 23rd, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Wow! I’m delurking for this. I’ve read your blog for months (I even went back to the beginning) and I love it (you might say I’m “osessed” in Nicolaus’s words). You are so funny and Nicolaus and Graham are adorable!
Anyway, my first impression is just “eek”! I consider myself a shy and somewhat socially awkward person even though I grew up in a lively household (3 siblings) and went to public school. I played sports, joined clubs and was social, but still feel much the same as Nicolaus and Sally’s son. I’d rather the playground be empty.
Whether or not it is true, I believe it would be worse if I wasn’t around other kids. I ended up being a very successful (as society defines it) adult — late 20’s lawyer in NYC, married, looking to adopt a dog — so I would wonder how my socially awkward self would have turned out if I was not socialized at a young age. I still would rather read a book than go to a party with strangers.
I’m not judging — I completly and totally trust your judgment for your sons. From what I have read and seen in pictures, they are truly remarkable, imaginative boys. You must be so proud. And honestly, if you decide to home school, it will be the other kids who miss out. I look forward to reading about your adventures!
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
My daughter goes to a great school (preschool for now but they also do kindegarten) and they don’t overtly sit down and teach. In fact, the book of activities that we received at her parent/teacher conferences was amazing — the activity itself didn’t look like that big a deal but the list of things it taught was amazing. I love that type of learning.
Perhaps look into a montessori program if home schooling doesn’t work for you (or even if it does and you want some ideas). Very educational/whole child oriented without being over the top. Oh, and I love that my daughter’s school is small!
April 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Would love to comment but I woke up this morning HATING everything for no reason. Don’t want to say something out of line just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Will throw out this tidbit the people at the top of the ARD School of Arts and Sciences are really smart and very loving. I’m sure that they will make the right decision for Nicolaus at this time in his life. That’s the kind of decision that you can do for awhile and then change if you need too.
Good Luck!
April 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
We love being selfish assholes…er homeschoolers.
There are plenty of ways for children to interact with other children without school.
For some reason, I thought you were homeschooling already. Ha. I’m not paying attention as much as I like to think I am.
I can’t wait to hear about what you end up doing. I bet it will be fun. :)
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Hm, but do you want him “socialized” ? I’ve no doubt he’ll have plenty of social interaction. The quality of time he’ll spend with others will probably be greater than if he were in a public school system. You might see if your library has the book “The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling” – quite enlightening. :-)
Have fun with the homeschooling! I look forward to more posts about this! :-)
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Y’all are natural homeschoolers. What’s more – you’ve already been homeschooling. Seriously, dude, you’re soaking in it.
The worst that could happen? You won’t like it, it won’t work, that particular fly will be swatted, and you can move on to public school with songs in your hearts.
But you’ll be awesome at it. Just saying.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
We don’t have homeschooling in the netherlands, and I must say, it sounds very scary. From Nicolaus’ point of view, it sounds really cool!
good luck and keep us posted…
April 24th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I think you’re going about this the right way, being open to both ways and trying both homeschooling and letting him try out kindergarten. I mean… what if there was another kid like Nicolaus in his class? Not really wanting to play with a lot of other kids, and having a really cool, different perspective on life? They could meet at school and even though they both thought they would die from it, they instead find each other and become best friends for like, ever? Maybe another Nicolaus would be too much to hope for, but hey, you never know. And if he really does hate it there, then you’ve got the homeschool thing. Good luck!!
April 24th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
To quote my now 23 year old, well adjusted cousin at age 5: “Kindergarten is great, but not every day!”
Maybe there is a cooperative school or something in your town that would be a happy medium–lots of parent participation, more free flowing, less structured, shorter day?
Otherwise–can’t wait for adventures in homeschooling!
April 24th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I love Jules’ comment re: “you’re-so-smart-you’re-weird-itis.†My son has those tendencies to some extent too, but he’s so excited about his full day year round kindergarten (starting in July) that I just have to be excited for him. I considered homeschooling for a while myself, but he’s coming around to the fact that people he doesn’t already know can be cool. That and he thinks he’s right and I’m wrong, so how can I teach someone like that??? I’m digressing. I do that a lot. Anyway, I’m eagerly awaiting details and reports on how homeschooling vs. public school works for your son.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Just wondering what happened to Mouse’s website? I used to love reading about his exploits…
April 26th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I have not read the other comments (sorry- rude of me, but I have to go nurse a baby in, like, ten seconds), but it sounds like you already home school him. And are doing a great job. Home schooling is not like when little kids “play school” where it is a mock-up of a classroom environment. Look up unschooling and you will find that you are naturally doing it already. Kudos.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
You remind me of me when I first considered homeschooling. That was 3 or 4 years ago, and we’re still homeschooling. It ended up working for us just fine. Whether or not you stick with it, I’m still glad to have found your blog.