May 7th, 2008
They don’t call you a person or a customer or even a consumer. They call you a target. I wouldn’t do that! I’d call people something nice like… um… peopletunities! No. Human BUYINGS.
I am a little conflicted. Help me out here.
1. I used to work in the soft-edged world of B2B marketing where the efforts were often so inept and the sales tactics so mellow that the work we produced was pretty harmless. It didn’t contribute anything nice to the world, but it didn’t make anyone feel bad either. It was a wash, though my logical brain always longed to work with marketers who cared about data and results and a bigger picture. We were using rubber swords, and it felt silly.
But now after working for a solid year in the world of direct marketing — where they use real swords that are also guns and you put bees in the guns and when you fire them they shoot BEES — I have to agree with the ancient philosopher who said that everyone who works in marketing should all kill themselves. It’s a seriously an entire industry made out of bad and wrong. Basically it is an agency’s job to convince businesses to hire them to hassle innocent people and stress them out until they buy things that they don’t need. Marketers do this by pasting images all over your life that say: If you don’t read this you are ruining your life! And reading it makes you feel bad about not having or doing or wanting all these things that hey! Guess what! Are available for the low, low price of whatever is the maximum amount that we have calculated you’ll be willing to pay.
It’s gross. The guys I worked with are great at what they do, and I hardly ever think or say bad things about them. Still, it’s clear that I don’t have the stomach for direct marketing, and I’m glad they are not renewing my contract.
2. But! What am I going to do next? Well, my goal for the next year is to take over the world of nerdy/science art. I want to sell my artwork to everyone. I want to get my work into catalogs and retail stores and college bookstores and boutiques. In fact, I think it’s only fair to let you know that if you don’t buy nerd art from me, you are COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY FUCKING UP YOUR LIFE.
So you see? I’m conflicted. The word for what I am right now is arguably “hypocritical”, but conflicted makes me sound like I have more of a soul. You know? I just want to use my marketing skills for good rather than evil but at the same time I’d like to make and sell science-related artwork because it is super dang fun, and because we have horrifying amounts of debt to pay off somehow.
BUT. Isn’t it wrong to be pushing hilariously pretentious nursery decor onto people who don’t need it, when they would be better off bringing a nice bottle of wine to that baby shower with a cute card that says “Here. You are really going to need this in a few months”? Aren’t I just contributing to the problem here?
THEN AGAIN. People are going to buy gifts and cute things anyway. It makes them happy to find something nerdy and cute. It’s not bad to make people happy, right?
But then AGAIN, that’s same “in the business of making people happy” is Disney’s pretense for all of the ridiculous bullshit they pour down kids’ throats every day. All we want to do is make people happy! Please deposit cash for happiness, and also identify for us which target demographic you currently fit into.
Speaking of Disney, I keep meaning to make a list of things to thank Disney for teaching my kids. Let’s see…
* Men are stupid and can’t tell one girl from another (The Little Mermaid)
* Moms die, leaving young children alone and helpless. Dad may or may not be around and/or worth a shit at parenting so good luck with that. (Fox and the Hound, Bambi, Finding Nemo, and multiple others I can’t think of right now)
* Other times, mom just isn’t around or worth mentioning. Which is okay because in general, male role models are the only ones worth having. (The Jungle Book, Pinnochio, etc)
* Parent’s rules are a bunch of bullshit. You are probably right to ignore them.
* “I hate you.”
* “You MORON.”
* “Idiot.”
* The dentist is a terrifying, bumbling oaf who hurts people way more than you ever imagined.
* Keeping animals as pets is mean. And if you want to set an animal free, flush it down the toilet. All drains lead to the ocean!
* Talking to strangers is exactly what you should do in most situations.
* Stepmothers are bitches at best.
* “You empty-headed FEMALE!”
* It’s okay to fire a loaded gun at someone if you are mad at them. (Fox and the Hound)
* When a new baby comes, your parents are unlikely to pay attention to you anymore. (Lady and the Tramp)
* Boy puppies look like the daddy and girl puppies look like the mommy. (Lady and the Tramp)
* Did I mention that you shouldn’t get attached to your mom?
* From Beauty and the Beast: Looks don’t matter when it comes to True Love. In fact, you can even be kind of an abusive ass. (Note: only applies to men. Chicks should always be hot and nice if they want to get anywhere.)
* From Cars: It’s a crying shame that people are such shallow money-driven consumerists. Our society has really lost its way. THANK YOU DISNEY for lecturing us about the evils of consumerism. I had wondered why there weren’t any Cars-themed q-tips, and now that I’ve seen the movie I know why. Clearly Disney felt the need to exercise restraint in the licensing arena, lest our society lose touch with what’s really important in life.
Which brings me neatly back to my own internal conflict: How can I market and sell products like crazy without being a bad person on the inside, where it counts?
May 7th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Don’t have any conflict-solving insight, but THANK-YOU for articulating some of what I can’t stand about the brainwashing of Disney.
May 7th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I don’t think that you are the same as disney. Do people need nerdy science art in the same way that they need say, FOOD? No. But the truth is that people do need art. I was thinking about this the other day when I was watching Doctor Who, which I suppose makes this a good time to discount all credibility on my part, but whatevs. I was thinking on the one hand, how I was wasting time watching tv when I could be doing something productive like…I don’t know laundry or something. But then I decided whatever, I love Doctor Who! Life does sometimes seem clogged with stuff that isn’t important. For example, like, everything at Target. (But so pretty!) But I don’t think that marketing yourself as an artist, comes even close to the problems of corporate commercialism. Life without the whimsical and the quirky and the beautiful and the funny, would be sad. Isn’t it better that artists are able to market themselves than faceless corporations bulldozing people into thinking that they are the only option for those things? Which kind of undermines the whole point of art in the first place, which is to express individuality? Or something? This comment was long and kind of not saying what I want to say, but this is my point. You aren’t disney. I don’t think that you are willing to change your morals and ideals to sell art and I think thats the difference between good marketing and bad marketing. (You are totally like the Glinda of marketing.) Sell away is what I say. (OMG this comment is ENDLESS!)
May 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I think you’re reading way too much into this. I used to work in marketing also.. in the fashion industry. Now THAT’S evil. Now I do custom art for kids (wallmurals, mostly.) I market myself. You can earn a living at something you love and spread the word about your awesome stuff without being let’s say, Disney. It’s not hypocritical.
People cannot buy your stuff if they have no idea it’s out there.
Calm down. :) You are a nice person. And your stuff is great. So get out there, and spread the word.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I don’t know the first thing about marketing, but from reading your blog I know you won’t be doing any “bad marketing.” You will be providing a wonderful alternative to mass-marketed, mass produced gifts that people will be buying anyway.
Providing this alternative to the mass-produced is not saying “buy this or your life will suck,” but rather “buy this and you’ll feel great. Because my products are made from the heart, and because every time the recipient of the gift sees it, they will know that the giver of the gift put thought into it.”
You rock. Take your Nerdy Baby ABCs to a baby boutique and pitch them to the owner. Make some cute baby-related thank you cards and baby shower invites. They’ll eat it up. I hate those shrink wrapped invites and TYs. I am always looking for cute stationary and your carved blocks, I’m sure, would be a hit. :-)
“Peopletunities” made me laugh. Too funy.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
You can (and do) sell beautiful artwork that brings smiles to people’s faces. You can’t make someone buy something, not unless you pay millions of dollars to lobbyists to coerce, bribe and otherwise influence lawmakers to legally require people to buy your products. (If you do that, you will suck and we can’t be friends any more. Not that we’re exactly friends, but we could be, but not if you did that! LOL)
I say go for it, just be responsible about it.
And don’t kill off any Mommies.
Add Cinderella, Snow White and Belle to the list of those with dead mothers.
Now, in walt’s defense, many of the stories came from fairy tales and some other author had already killed off mama, but still…it sucks that we’re hard pressed to think of a disney movie with both parents intact and functional.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
i’m in marketing. i’m a copywriter — i’m evil.
i just recently wrote a radio spot that made me cringe all over.
this is a commiseration email. no advice. just, yeah, i, too, feel creepy.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I have ranted to my friends about the evil of marketing many times. Having subjected marketing to such an analysis and being aware of my own eventual need to self-market, should I achieve any of my creative goals, I have decided upon this:
It is one thing to try to manipulate people into buying your product. (As a creative worker, you’re aware of what you can do to manipulate people.) It is something else to simply make people aware of what you have created, and maybe tell them what other people think of it.
Yes, the marketing that is manipulative is more successful. Evil pays well. Why some of us don’t want to be evil, I’ll never understand.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
You actually believe in what you’re selling. I think that will go a long, long way towards simply selling, not selling out.
May 7th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
You could work as a consultant, offering your marketing skills to nonprofits! Lots of small nonprofits need help putting together advertising materials.
May 7th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
I for one would love for you to be the queen of the nerdy art for kids and make tons of money. Remember, you are an artist first. Selling art is what artists do if they need to eat. I realize I don’t know you in person, but I am guessing that you occasionally require food. So, you should do what you do best - art and then… sell the damn stuff however you can. You are resourceful and interesting and will be just as successful marketing yourself in a non-evil way as you are a good Mom in a non-evil way.
Speaking of evil, I also hope you do some inappropriate humor type art/cards/bumper stickers for us adults. Now that is a kind of evilness I love and adore. And your ancient philosopher would love it if he were still with us.
May 7th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
brilliant post. best of luck in whatever you do!
May 7th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Thank you everyone. You’ve all given me good stuff to think about. Mind if I auto-subscribe you all to my newsletter, which will allow me to sell your email addresses to horrible people who want you to go to Gymboree RIGHT NOW?
And yes, the inappropriate humor stuff is coming soon. You’ll be able to download it all for free. Yay, free!
(Only kidding by the way. Like I’d ever be organized enough to do a newsletter.)
May 8th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Wow, you got a lot of great comments on this one. I hope you’re really not that serious about the conflict of selling your wares. You know the difference between offering something and cramming it down people’s throats. I think your art work is great and proved it my buying some. :-)
I’m sorry you don’t have the steady income now. But you can do your art and homeschool your children. In other words, you are able to make the world a better place. Thanks for allowing us into a bit of it.
May 8th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Whoa! Stop lumping yourself in with ethical issues related to big business. You are trying to do your Own. Thing. And that is awesome.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:11 am
OK, can I just say, you are SO DAMN LUCKY to have something that you are not only brilliant at, but you love to do, that almost nobody else does, and that has a huge potential to make people’s lives just a little brighter (and your debts that much smaller - yeah!). So, don’t squander this - market away! Also, you have a link to some types of books or other materials geared toward people with dementia. I think this is extremely cool, and I’d be very interested in finding out more if this is still something that is in the pipeline (I couldn’t find an email to ask you any other way!).
May 8th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Brainy: Not much to the site yet, but here is a start —
http://www.MyAuntLala.com
May 8th, 2008 at 11:43 am
I have to disagree with killing yourself if you’re in Marketing. I think it depends on what you are Marketing. For example, I work for a large Hearing Aid Services provider and I KNOW we help people improve their lives with hearing aids. Right now the average cost of just 1 hearing aid is roughly $3000 and is very difficult for older people without insurance to afford. We send out special mailers all the time with great discounts so they can get the help they need. I myself suffer from hearing loss and having my hearing aids (which I got for free - thank goodness) has dramatically changed my life. I can understand people when they talk to me and I notice a HUGE difference if I forget to put them in. Sure, Marketing can be a dirty business, but it doesn’t always have to be. Good luck with your homeschooling - I hope you both are enjoying it!
May 8th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
When it comes right down to it, it’s a very philosophical question: Is art necessary?
I know lots of people who would argue on either side. I fall firmly into the camp of yes, yes art is necessary. But all art isn’t going to be necessary for all people, and then you get into target markets…
By the way, your site is one of my favorite ones ever to read. I always love your perspective and how much you enjoy your kids as real live human beings. :D
May 8th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
All of a sudden, I REALLY REALLY want some art. NEED, even.
And I almost feel guilty that my kids are plopped down in front of some Disney entertainment. But I’m sitting and it’s quiet so I don’t entirely feel guilty.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Don’t feel guilty Ann. My two year old called his brother “YOU! Empty headed Nicolaus!” the other day.
Good point BA. There are times when marketing can help people. I’m just cynical after seeing companies do the equivalent of mumbling/whispering to people with perfect hearing. Then saying OMG! You know what you need? A hearing aid!
I’m excited about the dementia books for this reason though. I will never claim that these books cure Alzheimer’s or make huge improvements or that you don’t care about your loved one if you fail to buy things for them. My approach is going to be “The product is here, if you think your loved one will enjoy it, it’s not too expensive to find out.” :-)
Different from the science art. YOU MUST BUY SCIENCE ART. You cannot be truly happy without it!!
May 8th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I used to work for a big ad agency. I always felt a little weird trying to convince women that they were really great moms if they hit McDonalds. It was weird. And I HEAR YOU on the Disney thing. I despise Disney most of the time! My 4yo is on the Princess thing now — knows all of the names, but has only seen Cinderella. I keep pointing out the Cinderella needs to learn how to solve her own problems or else the Fairy Godmother is going to stop answering the phone. (my mom disapproves of this tactic, but she’s the one who showed her cinderella to start with…)
Love your blog!
May 9th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Luckily, we have great centers and you have to have a certain level of hearing loss before they will recommend a hearing aid (plus the hearing screenings are free). The only reason I have mine now (I could have waited, I was right on the threshold) is because I could get them for free now and in the long run, it will help my hearing from getting worse. They turn away people daily because they’re hearing is fine. I feel good about the company I work for and it’s hard for a lot of people to say that. I even gave our number to a man who had SEVERE hearing loss so he could see what kind of benefits or promotions he could get. He was sincerely thankful. I won’t get any commission or anything from him, but it was nice to be able to help someone improve their lives if possible.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Just wanted to leave another comment that I wasn’t taking your comment as being rude. I 100% agree with you that the majority of marketing is horrible and tries to get us and our kids to buy things they don’t need.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I’m a little late in the game on this post - but I have to reply.
1) I did something similar to what you did. I coded a system that selected people’s names for junk mail/statement inserts/phone calls - for a credit card company. Yeah. And people wonder why I quit and went back to school to be a nurse. Not much in helping people with the old job - so I’m on to the new job.
2) I LOVE your stuff. You didn’t push me to buy it - and I love it in my daughter’s room. And, G-d willing, I actually have another child - I’ll be buying the cards to put in the new kid’s room. See - not only did you not push me to do this - but I’m going to buy something anyways.
Does this help at all??
May 9th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Toni, you’re the sweetest thing ever. :-)
BA, it’s good to know that your company is a good one. Yeah, I totally didn’t mean my comment to be about your company specifically — I’ve just seen so many that claim to be doing good wonderful things when all they were doing was push push push sell sell sell. Like I said, nice to hear that isn’t always the case.
May 13th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Just wanted to say hi and that I thought of your blog last night. Urban Dad and I went to see Iron Man. And they used the chracters used the term “conflicted” a few times. All I could think was “conflicted? or hypocritical????” from your post.
Enjoying your blog!