May 14th, 2008
Around the world in 2 - 48 hours
I spend more time working on costumes for Nicolaus than I want to admit.
Where his obsessions used to last for weeks and weeks, now he cycles rapidly depending on his whims and/or how much time I just spent making his latest outfit. They are all history-related — he is so excited about history that it is not remotely considered school work. If anything, it’s a reward for doing school work.
So it’s very cool that he is so passionate about the olden days. And the costumes are a great way to learn more and absorb it all and etc etc. But. Tiny complaint okay? The costumes are exhausting. It’s not just the logistics of making them and keeping up with it all… it’s more that it’s a background energy drain. Once in a very long while we make him just be himself for the day. Because we’re mean and had kids just to be mean. And walking around with Plain Nicolaus, we realize what a relief it is to not have to remember where he is from and what time period it was, and what he would know and what he wouldn’t, and all of the backstory that explains why he is riding around with us in the backseat of a Scion XB.
And the faster it cycles, the harder it is to keep up. We’re constantly having to help him put this belt on and make a new hat and change the shape of this knife because Minoans didn’t have knives shaped like that… man. I now fully and totally understand why my sister in law made the rule: Decide at the beginning of the day which ones are cars and which ones are robots. I am only transforming each one of these little fuckers ONE TIME every day. It made sense then, but it makes even oh my god SO MUCH MORE sense now.
He was a person from India for almost two weeks, until finally I gave in and sewed my napkins together for him. While I sewed he flipped through his history book. As I put the last two stitches in place he changed his mind and decided that he really wanted to be oh gosh. Now I can’t remember the names of these guys, but they predated the Greeks and were basically the biggest assholes in the history of the world. Literally. Like Hitler would read about these guys and go, “Woah. They were mean.”
That lasted about two hours. Then he switched back to Roman. Then he was a prince for like fifteen minutes. Then he was from India again. Then Roman. Then a Minoan from the isle of Crete. That’s right, Crete. No? Yeah, me neither.
So we got the Minoan outfit all figured out and read all about those guys and oh wow yes mmmm very interesting… did I mention I got Cs in history? Then he went to his room to find his shoes and came back dressed as an American pioneer explorer.
That one lasted until it was time to go to the library. Then he changed shirts, to his native american shirt but left the rest of the explorer outfit in tact. Because he wanted to be an Indian who helped explorers. So we went to the library and he asked the librarian whether there was anyone like Sacagawea who was more of a - well, boy. Stumped her, haha.
She was really sweet and spent a good ten minutes helping us look for the answer before leaving us to our own in the Native American section. He wanted to sit on the floor and have me read them all, but we couldn’t stay long because Graham likes the library way too much. He! Shouts! Every! Word! LOOK MAMA! A BOOK ABOUT A BABY BEAR, MAMA. I CANNOT MODULATE THE SOUND OF MY VOICE, MAMA.
There are books about baby bears, and it’s just way too exciting.
We gathered a stack of books and headed toward the tables, and we were nearly there when Nicolaus spotted a book about Egypt and decided screw all this Native American crap.
Meanwhile Graham was running away from me and laughing, and when I said, “Come here, Graham.” he flopped down on the floor.
“GRAHAM. Come here.”
“I am, Mama!” He giggled, “I am going to ROLL to you.”
And he did. He rolled to me. In the library. See me? This is what tired looks like.
So tonight I made a vaguely Egyptian-looking skirt and head cover out of raw art canvas. And the shield — well, it might be the most half-assed thing I’ve made yet. It’s a giant bubble mailer with a slight curve cut at the top. There, kid. It looks like the picture. Can I please start dinner now?
There are about twelve more exciting things I want to post about but the day is finally over and I’m sorry internet. I love you. But I love sleep more.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:40 am
You poor thing! You must be exhausted!! Your SIL has a good idea though. Can’t you have Nicolaus stick with a theme for a few days? Mark the calendar with a particular color for that theme (Red for Romans, er, Gold for Egyptians…) and he can put post-it flags books for things he wants to read about or costumes he wants to wear when it is time for that theme? I know it sounds like it would be thwarting his creativity, but won’t it help him retain more about each culture and see the differences between them? Or maybe this is just assvice… since he is a kindergardner. Better advice? Have a margarita and some guacamole. Then roll on the floor with Graham. :-)
May 14th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Ok, the fact that you are so willing to do SO much puts you way, way ahead of yours truly. Also, just so you know, I’m sitting here by myself laughing LOUDLY at this hilarious post. I’m with Maura — alcohol and rolling on the floor. Even if it doesn’t fix anything, it sure makes it fun to try!
May 14th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I seriously like your SIL’s rule.
Also Maura’s advice to have a margarita and guacamole then roll on the floor with Graham
Winners both!
May 14th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Today is UNREAL you guys. I am very ready to take this advice.
May 14th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I stumbled on your blog from who knows where and I read it daily and crack up… I know FOR A FACT that my future children will be very similar to yours, and I can only hope I will be as patient and encouraging as you are!
Yes, margarita and guacamole. And limit Nicholaus to one historic period per day. Or at least per hour.
May 14th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
You are killing yourself. My kid wants a shield? Here’s a pot lid. He wants a toga? Here’s a bed sheet, pinned.
Nicolaus obviously has an awesome imagination… let him use it and IMAGINE costumes from whatever he has.
Otherwise, I’d stick with one theme per week. Poor you!
Mmmm, margarita.
May 14th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
So….. did you have the margarita?
May 15th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Maura is spot on. Margarita. stat.
Remember when you had the fantasy that being a mom would be you continuing to do what you loved while the angelic children played around your ankles? In my dream we were all painting in a light filled studio and no one ever chased the cat around the house screaming, or needed to be held ALL THE TIME, or refused different basic foods at each meal. Hotdog, no. Cheese, no. Pasta, no.
Oh well. Fantasies are fantasies. And margaritas are Good.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:49 am
Things to avoid or discourage gently … in depth discussion of the Sumarians, Incan sacrificial ceremony, weapons grade Plutonium enrichment for preschoolers, Theremin lessons, anarchy, the semi-pacifist preschooler grassroots revolution movement, tatoos, cat worship, bothering the strange lady at the library and being too close to trains.
Tequilla and most costumes are relatively harmless.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:11 am
I almost forgot … a very long time ago. It was a very tired and sleepy time of too much working at the workadaddy aerospace place and trying to go to school in the morning after working all night. Music appreciation seemed like an easy “A” but it wasn’t.
The “babee you” had to come along to the campus library so I could study with the earphones all full of Bach, Dvorwhoever and Tswhatnotty since the Ipod wasn’t invented yet.
People I had always thought were cool were all walking by and giving me the stink eye for about two hours while I listened on the big 1970s ear phones and took notes. I thought that was odd since everybody had always been nice when I brought bebee you to class.
You rolled around on a blanket and were angelic. I listened to the earphones.
It wasn’t until we were getting ready to leave that I noticed that the stuffed grape you were playing with the whole time was a really loud squeaky toy. Ha.
May 16th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
you are such a great mom, tiffany:)