June 26th, 2008
Future Lawyers of America
“Mama? I had an idea for something we should do. It’s written on the fridge.”
The magnets are disappearing lately, so I was surprised he’d managed to write anything. I looked over. It was nonsense.
“What does that say?”
“BUSENIK”
“Yeah but — oh wait. Is this in Birdie Talk?” He and the bird are inventing their own language that conveniently no one else understands.
“Yep.”
“Can you write it in English please?”
Big sigh. “Well I don’t know if I have enough letters. But I’ll try.”
A minute and four fights with his brother later (4 fpm) he announced he was done: D O N U S
Close enough. Donuts!
“Well Nicolaus, that’s a fun idea but there are — well, three problems really.”
“What are they?”
“First of all, it’s big traffic hour right now. Driving there will be awful. Second, donuts are really bad for us. Third, it costs a lot of money to go get donuts and we’re trying to save money.”
“Aha!” It took him zero seconds to respond. “Easy. Number one: We wait until after big traffic hour. Number two: While we wait, we eat something super healthy so - you know? And number three: We won’t buy a whole big box this time. We’ll just get four donuts, one for each person. No box. So we won’t even have to pay for the box.”
He pulled the fridge open and produced a massive bag of baby carrots, which he handed out to everyone.
Well? How could I argue with that? I couldn’t, that’s how.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Awesome.
June 26th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Will he come up with some justifications for my life? ‘Cause his are way better than mine…
June 26th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Dang. Truly he has a career in negotiations ahead of him.
June 26th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Are those on the diet?
June 26th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I think I’ve commented only once before, but am compelled to say: Your kids are adorable.
And I envy their problem-solving abilities.
June 26th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Sally, donuts are allowed once a week. But only if you eat baby carrots first!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
I may need to borrow your kid to justify a couple burgers later on.
June 26th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I still say “spatulbot”. I wonder if BUSENIK is going to become part of the vocab. Excellent negotiation, Nicolas!
June 26th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
How can you argue with such perfect logic?
June 26th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
You are doomed :lol
June 26th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Hellflower has a good point. I know he always thinks he has good reasoning, but he often gets shut down anyway. That’s when he thinks adults are assholes, right? ;-)
June 27th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Q.E.D.: Duh, Mom again, huh?
Yup ya;ll are definitely doomed.
June 28th, 2008 at 2:37 am
My personal best justifications have been …I know all about how to use one so I should have it. A guy like me without a milling machine and precision lathe deprives the world of whatever it was I might have made if I did have the machines. And the converse, which also seems to be valid, I have no idea what a MOOG analog synth is, or does, but it looks cool and if I had one I could figure it out. . then the world will surely be a better place. Both concepts have improved the planet somewhat and should easily lead to wealth and riches beyond our wildest dreams …yeah, I must agree, you are doomed. These kids come from a very long lineage of overindulged individualist frontier types. And a few lawyers too.
June 28th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Hi. I just found your blog and I like it. So I thought I’d say hi. Hi. : )
Cheers, Katherine