July 8th, 2009
A quick trim, is all.
There’s a little button pad to get into our building. Life was so much easier before Graham learned how to do the code. Pressing all those numbers in sequence with sweaty three-year-old fingers takes a lot of concentration, and we cheered for him when he got it right the first twenty times or so. But now it’s a battleground.
“I want to do the code!”
“NO you got to do the code last time and that means it’s MY TURN to do the code.”
“I WANT TO DO THE CODE.”
(repeat until both boys are in tears because the other insists that it matters who does the dang code)
Graham wants to do the code. And open the doors, even the heavy ones. He also wants to lock and unlock the house, the car, and anything else that needs unlocking even if that means locking it first only so it will need to be unlocked right away. He wants to do the top buckle, he wants to turn on the lights in every room. He can pour the milk, he wants to stir, chop, mix, spread everything he eats all by himself.
I fully expect him to have his own place by Fall and woaaahhhhh hahaha sorry. The dog is losing his tiny puppy mind because there’s a house fly in here. Oh my god. I used to say that there was nothing sadder than an overweight greyhound but wow — a jack russel mix whose hunting instinct has been diluted to the point where the only thing he actively tries to hunt or kill are actual flies is very sad.
I’m getting ready to travel to Google for Foo Camp weekend where oh my sweet holy goodness! Some of the world’s smartest smartypantses are going to be there. Since I can’t impress them with my smartness, I am going to impress them by showing up with clean hair and a cute skirt.
SO. Hair cut tomorrow. I hate thinking about my hair. Anything I do looks like mom hair which has led me to a theory about mom hair: if you have a kid, ANYTHING you do with your hair looks like mom hair.
Search for “cute haircut” and here’s what you’ll find:
Now search for “mom hair” and wait a damned minute! Those are the same exact haircuts:
See???
So screw it. I’m going to get a trim, put my hair into low/comfortable pig tails and move on with life even though before I had kids the pigtails were cute and funky but now I’m pretty sure they look like a total mom hair thing to do.
Did you ever have to write those essays in elementary or high school where you started with a premise and then wrote a bunch of paragraphs supporting it and then repeated your original premise, no matter how far off topic you’d wandered during the course of writing the paper?
Graham really wants to do the code.
July 8th, 2009 at 2:20 am
I had mom hair. I hated it. I went to my hair guy, who is awesome and also straight (a key component because if I want to look hot to straight men, it is good to have a straight man cutting your hair)(although I WILL admit they are hard to find)– what was I talking about? right. ok. focus wendy. So I was tired of my mom hair and I went to my hair guy and when he said, “What are you looking for today?” I replied “I want my hair to say ‘I’m really good in bed’ and not ‘I’m a mother of two and I drive a minivan’” and he laughed for about 5 full minutes and when I walked out of that place, I was HOTT!! — and I mean that in the way that two days later, and this has NEVER happened to me before, but two days later I was walking through the walmart parking lot and this guy in a car STOPPED DRIVING and rolled down his window and said, and I quote verbatim here, “I know this is going to sound creepy and I don’t mean to be creepy, but I just felt like I had to tell you that you look really sexy.” and then he rolled up his window and drove away.
The moral of this long story: Get a straight man to cut your hair and tell him you want your hair to say you’re really good in bed and you will no longer have mom hair.
that’s both a long story and a long moral. But I thought it was worth sharing.
July 8th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Not many (non-5-year-old) people wear pigtails these days, so I’m figuring that you will be the trend setter in Google Land. When I suddenly see everyone in “Wired” magazine sporting them, I will know who originated the look. (Maybe you should create some special “Nerdy Pigtail Ties” for the occasion and you can add them to your “Grade School/’Tween” line.)
July 8th, 2009 at 5:45 am
I don’t know how they’re going to notice your hair because your creativity and brilliance will blind them to all else. You are really going to kick all the butt!
July 8th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I agree with your picture. We’re fighting a losing battle. I’ve noticed that the colored streak is in these days and that seems pretty cool, but again, Mom’s would think that and do it and then it would just seem like a desperate move. I guess there’s nothing we can do but just try to avoid Mom Jeans as long as possible.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:46 am
Tiffany, I never comment, but your ‘mom hair’ illustration is just hilarious and so true! When my daughter was 5 months old, I had my hair cut in a really cute funky style. My partner went crazy and said it was a total mom cut, how much I had changed, how could he be expected to find me attractive with hair like that etc. etc. I guess people see what they want to see.
Suffice to say we are no longer together. (There was a bit more to it than the hair, though.) My hair is still cute and funky and I love it. That said, if I could go to Wendy’s hairdresser’s I would…
July 9th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Oh, good. You scared me for a minute. I totally love your pigtails! Was all set to vote for “Sporty and Fun” as being as close to the pigtails as your options allowed, but you saved me in the end. DO THE PIGTAILS. DO IT!!!one!!!11!!!
July 9th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
You are right on with the “mom hair” stuff. When my daughter was a little over a year old I had a total hair freakout tied to feeling like I blended in with all the young (mormon) mommies around here, and looked like one of the masses. So I came home and shaved my head (for the second time in my life). Definitely didn’t blend in after that! I realize now that it had a lot more to do with how I was struggling to define myself as a grad student, new mom, and still-interesting person all at once, and not so much to do with genuine worries about “blending in”. So this time around (I’m pregnant with #2) I may get some cute coloring done once the post-birth frump hits, but I’m growing my hair out. I want it long, and have for a few years now, and no amount of “OMG, is this mom hair?!?!” is going to stop me.
Okay, enough rambling. Thanks for this!
July 9th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
The last line of this made me laugh so much!! Have an awesome time at camp, can’t wait to hear all about it :D
July 9th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
I guess I’m a mixture of can’t even be bothered to get a trim and too lazy to style my hair. But it’s the same style I’ve been sporting since high school, so I’m also anti-change.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:58 am
I once found a hairdresser in a department store (her husband told me I had nice hair, and I said “Oh gawwwwd, I hate it, it’s growing out because I can’t find a good hairdresser. But, um. Thanks?” and he said “My wife cuts hair. HONEEEEY. Come talk to this girl!”).
I said “See, I like it short, but I don’t want to look like Ralph Macchio and I don’t want Little Old Lady Mom Hair because…well, I guess it’s okay if you’re a Little Old Lady, but…” and she said “Honey, nobody should have that hair. Not even little old ladies. You want cute sexy hair. I can do cute sexy hair.”
AND SHE COULD! And it was totally awesome! And I always looked great! And I never had bad hair days!
AND THEN SHE MOVED AWAY.
That was ten years ago and I still haven’t found anybody who could do what she could do, and clearly I am still mourning my loss and bitching about it on the Internet, because she was that good.
July 10th, 2009 at 2:31 am
just a little non-useful advise. my parents had the same problem with me and my sister fighting over the front seat of the car. we divided it by odd even days based on our age which worked with one being an odd number and the other being an even. we started this when my sister was 3 and it worked well after she learned the concept and there was no fighting anymore about the front seat at least.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Ha ha ha! I love the hair discussion. I’m either “geek chic” or “totally given up” depending on how I feel on any given day. But I must say, I LOVE my short hair.
I live in the SF Bay Area, and work just down the street (literally — I could walk) from the Google campus. If I didn’t feel too stalkerish, I’d ask you out for coffee while you’re here. :) Have a great time!
July 12th, 2009 at 9:20 am
ha, very creative! I think I’m now in the Ho-hum mode. For sure need a trim!
July 12th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Simple solution. You get to push the buttons until they come to a way to agree without fighting. You really wanted to anyhow, didn’t you?
July 15th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Such a funny cartoon you made there. I hope you feel great in your pigtails. I like the @jaymee advice above but it sounds like Graham’s control issues are here to stay. Whew.