I don’t know why Kevin can’t be more supportive of my dream of someday being a floating head in a jar. They have them in lots of movies about the future, and the barriers to bringing this technology to market seem mostly related to FDA hangups and funding. But whenever I say man, I so look forward to the day when I can just be a floating head or a brain in a jar and I start working out the logistics of whether he would have to carry me around — and what would be the best way to do that? A sling of some sort, definitely. Or I can get one of those Segue things like cops in suburbia have and I can ask Brianna, the smart lady who keeps my web sites all running despite my best efforts to mess them up, to rig it so that I can drive the thing by thinking about where I want to go.
Kevin just shakes his head like I’m saying something funny and says, “There is something so wrong with you.”
And I say, “I know there’s something wrong with me. My stomach hurts.”
“Go back to the doctor.”
Then, if the boys are asleep, I say swear words.
So yeah. My stomach is a vile prostitute, and I’m ready to go on the total brown rice diet. I like brown rice a lot but I also like other foods. But you know what else I like? Not being sick.
In addition, this week I am enjoying another rollicking and heartfelt UTI, which stands for “Ur Tinkle Is hurting u”
Bonus! This week is super happy girl time, which I wouldn’t even mention except that it causes cramping and general hating of my midsection.
And I’m getting over a cold.
And so it was that four nonmajor conditions converged within my torso, making me remember why I can’t wait until they can just transfer my thoughts into Kevin’s netbook so that he can carry me around. I won’t have to think about what to eat — as part of his laptop I can just eat whatever crumbs the kids drop into the keyboard. I won’t have to be slowed down by stupid girl problems or stomach problems or pee problems. I’ll have a weird Linux interface and sometimes I will get dropped on the floor but that’s what solid-state hard drives are for, duh.
Oh, And! Because of the antibiotics I hope you’re on for your UTI (yes, I did read the previous post!), you can also look forward to a yeast infection! Yay!
i always get rid of UTI with (organic) cranberry tablets and gallons for herbal teas and water. hope you feel better soon.
I should look for the tablets! I don’t like cranberry juice as much as I should.
The killer is that the doctor told me no caffeine for a week. Oh my god. This afternoon I fell asleep on the couch and Nicolaus very gently suggested that I — this is a quote — “try to get on the parenting train”
omg: “try to get on the parenting train”! The gems just keep coming!
All I can say is that if someone else’s blog became a bestselling book & movie (”Julie & Julia”), then yours most certainly deserves to be, as well.
Yea, I had accidental gluten this week. Nothing like having barely noticeable amounts of a white powder killing you painfully for a few days to really screw up your week.
Mix the cranberry juice with anything that makes it palatable. (Well, maybe not vodka. Hehe.) It *does* help. And keep drinking it even afterwards.
Why hasn’t someone made cranberry yogurt? They would make a gazillion dollars from women with UTIs.
I mix the unsweetened cranberry juice with blueberry juice. I also: wash my underpants with baby detergent, with an extra rinse cycle, wear only skirts in the warm months, and avoid Coke products like they contain tiny spores of hatred.
I have been UTI-free for years, but who the hell really knows why? I am going to be so mad when I get one and say, “The regimen LIED.” ;)
PS–I am sure you know about it, but Cystex is probably the best over-the-counter pain reliever I use when my tinkle is hurting me. :snickers:
Hope you get over this crap really, really soon. Sorry it makes you feel like being a head in a jar, or software on Kevin’s laptop.
Try getting on the parenting train????? Wow
((((hugs)))) None of those things is any fun… I’ll also swear by the “cranberry capsules plus loads of water” any time I start to feel a UTI coming on.
I hope you heal fast, dude!
My Acupuncturist recommended D-mannose, which is the only thing aside from antibiotics that has ever killed a uti for me. I just did this last week – ugh.
Ooh, good idea. I’m going to start reading Arduino docs – maybe we can wire your jar for Bluetooth…
Great post – thanks for sharing!