electric boogaloo

A page from my imaginary cookbook

BOWL OF FOOD

PREP TIME: 1 minute + however long it takes you to decide what else you’re in the mood for

COOK TIME: 7-10 minutes

TIME SPENT PLAYING BATTLESHIP: 5 minutes, as needed. Don’t overthink your turns. There is no strategy involved when playing against a 7 year old. In fact you might want to figure out a way to throw the game after that time he was furious because you CHEATED by putting all of your ships in a big clump together.

Ingredients
A giant yellow onion.
Green onions.
Whatever other color of onions make you happy
Garlic (or garlic powder I guess, if you’re not living life to the fullest by always having garlic handy)
Spinach
Spices and things
This amazing stuff http://www.amazon.com/La-Tourangelle-Asian-Ounce-case/dp/B0078DTJC2

1. Chop half of the big onion into big chunks. Or little nice neat chopped bits. Whatever you’re in the mood for. Throw it in a pan on lowish heat with a little bit of the stir fry oil. Maybe a tablespoon? Does that seem like a lot? Maybe less than that.

2. Go for it! With the spices. I like curry powder, paprika, black pepper and a little sea salt. Kevin says that all salt is sea salt, which yeah, yes, alright BUT for some reason I like the big chunky crystals of salt. They seem like they’re not joking around.

Also good: dried cilantro, basil, chili powder — I mean really, whatever you like. Stir, then leave the mess alone while you roughly chop a clove or two of garlic. Because garlic! Go on, throw that garlic in the pan.

3. Play Battleship with your kid until the onions are allllmost translucent. Then stir in the spinach I forgot to tell you to chop. Sorry. Tear it up with your hands and breathe a curse word at me under your breath. Stir a little, try to blow up your child.

4. Cut up a green onion but don’t put it in the pan! It gets slimy if you cook it much.

5. It’s YOUR TURN MAMA

6. When everything looks all cooked down and yummy, turn off the heat. NOW toss in the green onions, stir it up so it just cooks a tiny bit under all the other hot stuff.

There! You made FOOD.

Now you have the stuff. What do you do with it? You add it to whatever else you were going to eat. Put it on a burger or in an enchilada, stir it into mac n cheese, eat it with steamed brown rice, spaghetti, heck have it on a toasted sandwich — look, I’m not here to run your life. I’m just telling you about my good food I make.

posted by electric boogaloo in Journal and have Comments (2)

2 Responses to “A page from my imaginary cookbook”

  1. Susan says:

    I want you to know that I still adore you and it makes my day when you post.

  2. LynzM says:

    That was an excellent cookbook page. I thoroughly enjoyed it. :D

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