Today at 7:45 AM, my boobs did something useful for probably the last time. I say probably because you never know what might happen in the future, or how you might change your definition of useful. Barring any plane crashes in the ocean where we run short of flotation devices my days as a fully-functioning [...]
Shit shit shit shit shit. You hear of other people’s family members discovering their blog and those family members being all oh my god why are you telling the world all about that thing with the dog’s penis and your depression and my alcoholism and Susan’s nose job and everything else? Or even just haha [...]
Graham is weaning. This is not a mutual decision — this morning he filed formal papers with the State Attorney General’s office requesting that he be awarded full legal custody of my boobs “…and their endless, magical contents” on the grounds that I am no longer of sound mind and therefore cannot be considered mentally [...]
I can’t move.
There’s a snoring, rumpled up ball of a baby resting against me, and behind me his brother is – well durn, he’s snoring too. If my children are reading this in the future, I’d like them to please note that on this fine January morning – and I have felt this way since [...]
I’ll admit that after my painful trainwreck of a feeding experience with Nicolaus, I was a little bitter and grumpy about the whole boobie feeding thing, to the point that with my second child I didn’t take it day by day… I took it minute by minute, feeding by feeding. But now at 14 months [...]