electric boogaloo

There’s bound to be a pony around here someplace

“Graham would you back off and stop doing that!! I can’t stand it. Please leave me alone!”

“Nicolaus? Thank you SO MUCH for rudely griping at me.”

“Don’t be sarcastic. I just need –”

“No, seriously. Thank you! When you did that it made my eyes got a little bit teary and I got to have the experience of looking at the Christmas tree lights with blurry eyes and it looks so beautiful! I’m serious. If you hadn’t done that and kind of yelled a little bit then I never would have seen that. So thank you!”

“Okay, that’s… weird.”

“Seriously next time anyone gripes at you or anything makes you start to cry, run in here and look at the tree. It is AMAZING.”

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Stand by for re-grooving

Nobody knows the trouble she's seen

Nobody knows the trouble she's seen

Update 12: So. I’ve got wordpress set up. I have all the URLs pointing where they should. Cleaned up the crazy honkin images folders. Got email addresses up and working. Next:
1. Kill the old host account(s). (done / in progress)
2. Read a bedtime story to my kids, editing out or changing anything I think is sexist. done
3. Consolidate domains onto one registrar for lord’s sake – not done because one domain <60 days old and because I want to avoid any downtime during holidays. Going to hang on until early 2014.
4. Update content in the tabs above
5. Post a funny picture of my dog, who has been lying on the couch next to me and dramatically sighing because her life is so hard.

Update 11: Email accounts! Email accounts for everyone!

Update 10: Got kevinard.com pointed to the right directory. For now it’s very um, minimalist. Excessively so. But we can fancy up the place later on.

Update 9: I am a magical pony princess rock star. Images are fixed. Look at me! This was me when I figured out what to do: I know this!

Update 8: Time to stop and eat some pie.

Update 7: I had to get out paper and sharpies and draw out the map of everything. Really should have done so a few weeks ago. So: I want electricboogaloo.net and tiffanyard.com to take you directly to this blog

kevinard.com will go to a separate page in the blog? Its own blog? A separate web site? An etsy shop? Where should it goooooooo

UPDATE 6: Oh god. Where is the other velociraptor??

UPDATE 5: Wait, why are the images working now? They… I haven’t fixed them yet. There’s a ghost in the system!

UPDATE 4: Every single image or photo throughout the entire blog archive is now broken. I’m making progress!

UPDATE 3: I now have electricboogaloo.net, tiffanyard.com, and kevinard.com pointing to the new server, but things are a barely functioning mess. Now grateful that no one comes here anymore because this would otherwise be embarrassing.

UPDATE 2: Got a smart friend to help me back up, upgrade, and upload wordpress. Only had to send him this video once. Make it go

UPDATE 1: Who made this giant tangled mess?? Oh my god. Need to clean everything up, delete junk, redo wordpress, and generally stop being an idiot.

posted by electric boogaloo in Journal and have No Comments

war is over if you want it

This morning I woke up determined to have ice cream for breakfast. “NO.” The adult brain said, “Absolutely not.”

And then a battle started in my head. Every minute I don’t eat ice cream is a victory because look, I’m NOT. DOING. THAT. But still, I’m not yet willing to give in and make myself something healthier. It’s got calcium! Shut up! We are at an impasse and it has been two hours and holy rollers I am hungry.

posted by electric boogaloo in Journal and have Comments (3)

A page from my imaginary cookbook

BOWL OF FOOD

PREP TIME: 1 minute + however long it takes you to decide what else you’re in the mood for

COOK TIME: 7-10 minutes

TIME SPENT PLAYING BATTLESHIP: 5 minutes, as needed. Don’t overthink your turns. There is no strategy involved when playing against a 7 year old. In fact you might want to figure out a way to throw the game after that time he was furious because you CHEATED by putting all of your ships in a big clump together.

Ingredients
A giant yellow onion.
Green onions.
Whatever other color of onions make you happy
Garlic (or garlic powder I guess, if you’re not living life to the fullest by always having garlic handy)
Spinach
Spices and things
This amazing stuff http://www.amazon.com/La-Tourangelle-Asian-Ounce-case/dp/B0078DTJC2

1. Chop half of the big onion into big chunks. Or little nice neat chopped bits. Whatever you’re in the mood for. Throw it in a pan on lowish heat with a little bit of the stir fry oil. Maybe a tablespoon? Does that seem like a lot? Maybe less than that.

2. Go for it! With the spices. I like curry powder, paprika, black pepper and a little sea salt. Kevin says that all salt is sea salt, which yeah, yes, alright BUT for some reason I like the big chunky crystals of salt. They seem like they’re not joking around.

Also good: dried cilantro, basil, chili powder — I mean really, whatever you like. Stir, then leave the mess alone while you roughly chop a clove or two of garlic. Because garlic! Go on, throw that garlic in the pan.

3. Play Battleship with your kid until the onions are allllmost translucent. Then stir in the spinach I forgot to tell you to chop. Sorry. Tear it up with your hands and breathe a curse word at me under your breath. Stir a little, try to blow up your child.

4. Cut up a green onion but don’t put it in the pan! It gets slimy if you cook it much.

5. It’s YOUR TURN MAMA

6. When everything looks all cooked down and yummy, turn off the heat. NOW toss in the green onions, stir it up so it just cooks a tiny bit under all the other hot stuff.

There! You made FOOD.

Now you have the stuff. What do you do with it? You add it to whatever else you were going to eat. Put it on a burger or in an enchilada, stir it into mac n cheese, eat it with steamed brown rice, spaghetti, heck have it on a toasted sandwich — look, I’m not here to run your life. I’m just telling you about my good food I make.

posted by electric boogaloo in Journal and have Comments (2)

My new hobby

It’s a decent night over on the CL free section. Available:

1. Two 450 Pound drums of liquid glue. That is 900 pounds of glue for FREE. “It is a great deal if you have a use for a lot of glue.”

2. Relisted: FREE Instruction books for Final Cut Pro 6.0, software not included. Comes with a box. Giving away free because “I do not need them anymore.”
– Weird that this person doesn’t need the owner’s manual on software that’s four versions and seven years old.

3. FREE DUMPSTER WITH TRASH IN IT! PLEASE GET IT TODAY. THIS IS A FREE DUMPSTER. PLEASE HAUL AWAY THE TRASH THAT IS INSIDE THE DUMPSTER.

(THERE IS DEFINITELY NOT CRIME SCENE EVIDENCE INSIDE THE DUMPSTER)

4. The free hornet’s nest now has pictures. Crappy dark pictures but enough to see that it seriously no joke is a giant scary hornet’s nest. I’m thinking we should get it and rent it out as a security system for when people go out of town.

5. Free pet hair mitt in great condition but very dusty from sitting on the floor. “Free to a good CAT person.” — I am tempted to go get this and then once I’m in my car with it be all HAHAHA SUCKER. I love dogs and I’m going to use this on my Labrador!! and then they will learn the sad lesson that you really can’t trust people you meet on Craigslist.

6. “I have a Free Beta tape deck that are taking up space so I am willing to part with them (…) except for one request, you let me borrow them if I need them for a project.”
Look, I’m sure you’re a nice person but giving stuff away on Craigslist doesn’t normally work that way. Oh okay, sure thing total stranger, you can borrow back your free stuff whenever you want. Right after I’m through impersonating a cat person, I’ll come pick this up and you’ll feel good about it until you need to borrow it one day so you call and haha I gave you a fake number! Me and your precious Beta tape deck are somewhere in Europe by now and you will never find us.

7. WIN Amateur Wrestling magazines from 1995 to present. This actually isn’t funny. It is a good deal if you have a use for a lot of amateur wrestling magazines.

posted by electric boogaloo in Journal and have Comments (3)